It's been awhile since I've written. I don't know if anyone is actually reading these posts, since I haven't really publicized them, but if you are, I appreciate you taking the time to learn about my experiences, feelings, and ups and downs. Now that my GRE studying is officially over (HALLELUJAH!!!!!), I feel like I have time to breathe and consider all that has happened to me since I last wrote over a month ago.
It feels like forever ago, but my dad came to visit me in Cologne at the end of September. We had lots of fun going on 10-mile long walks and bike rides, visiting museums (see the Barnett Newman picture below!), drinking beer, and meeting some new friends. It was nice to get away from my "rustic" Wohnheim for a weekend and talk to him about my thoughts regarding singing, business school, friendships, etc. It was hard to say goodbye to him, but I eventually regrouped and overcame a brief stint of homesickness.
I have made some friends in Cologne: my roommates Pier and Gemma are great, and I have a German buddy named Angie who has been so supportive and is always willing to show me around the city. I also met up with a girl named Svetlana, who was a German exchange student at the University of Rochester last year (basically, the same program I'm undertaking but in the US), and a Fulbright scholar named Alexandra, who is a fellow classical singer. With all of these people, I have joked, gone to plays, sat at cafes, climbed all the way up to the top of the Dom and more. Yet, I must admit that I still feel a bit lonely. They are all incredibly kind and friendly, but language barriers, or simply, less organized social opportunities make it difficult to truly make meaningful connections. I am trying my best to be proactive and invite people to hang out and explore the city with me, and now that the GRE is over, I think I will have more freedom to be my extroverted self!
A few weeks ago, I went to Frankfurt to visit my dad's friend Goran and his family. His two young daughters are so vivacious, and I enjoyed every minute of hiking, visiting the zoo, and playing legos with them. The Skoko's were so kind to let me visit for a weekend, and I hope I will see them again soon.
Voice lessons have been quite an adventure, as well, and I think it is safe to say that I am no longer a mezzo. I don't know if it's Sascha's teaching or just allowing myself to practice less and be more "chill" about singing, but my top has blossomed. I can now sing well above the staff with ease, and I'm working on lots of Mozart soprano arias, some Gounod, and I'm about to delve into some Verdi. It has been exciting to make these vocal strides and explore the new facets of my voice, plus, I get to learn some pretty spectacular arias that I never thought would be within reach. It looks like I might need to change the name of my website and email...
The next few weeks will be filled with adventures: I leave in three days for Amsterdam with my dad, and I cannot wait!!! I also might be meeting up with the always-fabulalous Gabe-chen in Berlin. I have been missing my friends from school immensely, so I am so looking forward to seeing a familiar face. The following week I am going with some girls from the school to see La Traviata at the Oper Köln, and then it is December and the Christmas markets begin. The next month and a half before I return home for Christmas will be filled with lots of wonderful memories, and I am looking forward to all that is in store.
Needless to say, living overseas is not easy. There are times when I feel like Cologne is home and times when I crave being in my familiar environment with my friends and family. There are times when I feel like I have made deep connections with people and times when I feel completely isolated. There are times when I think, "Hey, my apartment is not so bad," and times when my messy roommate and mold-invested space no matter how much I clean feels unbearable to endure (but hey, the shower is now draining properly!!!). But these low moments are ultimately ephemeral, and I return to feeling more positive. I am here to learn German (and I do think my speaking skills are improving!), explore Europe, and discover more about myself and my future goals. I know I have already grown during these first 10 weeks, feeling more independent, confident in speaking and traveling, and comfortable in my own skin every day.
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